Be Careful Little Mouth What You Eat

How's this for fun. I ate about 1/3 of a box of chocolates today. It was delicious.

But.

How does that fit in with being healthy? Not too well. I had been so good about just eating one piece every day and being satisfied with that, but for some reason today was not that day. Part of it was that I told myself this might happen today because I'm exhausted and stressed. But why let myself tell me that? Why not tell myself, "This is not that day any more than yesterday was that day"?  So then, with that quasi-permission to binge in my head, I binged. I justified every one of them. "So what? It's only one more. You knew this was going to happen. Screw it all. Just eat the whole darn box."

Oh, brain. Why must you defeat me?

I also ate most of a bag of popcorn. All right after lunch. Sure it was the lowfat version, but still. Honestly...What was I thinking?

I made up for it somewhat by going to the Y and riding the gerbil bike for awhile, and I had a light, healthy dinner. So, points wise, I'm not that much worse off for the experience, but that doesn't erase the overall problem of self-defeat. That's the big issue. The occasional binge will happen and that's okay (see last week's Christmas parties for proof of that), but the willing disregard for good decision making, and the ease of making that transition, is alarming.

This on top of the fact that I'm totally swinging back into a nasty pop habit and oof. Things are shaky.

I plan to get back on track. I know what I need to do. I just need to be on the lookout for triggers. It's been a long time since I've experienced one of these to this magnitude. I've had little warning bells of this for a few weeks, as I've mentioned on here. But I'm feeling the spiral, and Christmas isn't going to make that any easier!