The Dottie System

When I started WW in October 2009, I went with a supportive friend. We called it fat camp, and we compared notes all the time on our progress. Going to meetings was fun because of her. But then, after awhile, going to meetings became fun because of both my friend and my leader, Dottie. Dottie was always supportive, even when I gained a little. Meetings were filled with positive energy, uncompromising support and hope, and a generosity of spirit. Dottie didn't run the meetings as a sales pitch for WW products, unlike some others. She ran them as a group of friends pushing one another to be better. As a result, I went into meetings excited and left energetic and hopeful.

This is why I succeeded at losing 65 pounds. Yeah, sure, I had to make the changes in my own head and commit myself to the task. Dottie always said I was only accountable to myself, not to her. She was right. Over the long term, only I can make myself stay fit and thin. Only I can really know how well I stick to the plan. But I can safely say that her leadership is what made that change in thinking possible for me. That steady support and guidance turned me from an unhealthy eater and person into what I am today.

And then, last fall, she got sick. She had pneumonia and was gone for a few weeks. She finally came back, only to leave again because she didn't have the strength back. And then she didn't come back and didn't come back. Early in December, we learned her cancer had returned (she'd been in remission for quite awhile). I meant to send a thinking-of-you card, but I never did. I often thought of her, though, and thought of the time when she would come back.

But this morning, I found out that won't happen. Dottie passed away.

My heart broke.

Dottie wasn't a close, personal friend. I only knew her for about a year. But she saw me succeed and hit my goal, she was a weekly presence, and that presence--for the short time it lasted--meant so much to me that I can't bear the thought of her not coming back. When I hit goal, all I could think about was, "Wait till Dottie sees!" I'm not sure what I am going to do. I kept going to meetings on the hope that someday she'd be back. The new people are fine, but they aren't Dottie. I want Dottie back.

Since that's not possible, I am writing this to remind myself that I have to keep going, to keep thin, to keep healthy. I have to stay the Newly Thin Dena until I'm the Long-Time Thin Dena. I have to do this not just for me, but for Dottie. She got me this way, and her memory will keep me this way.  I am also writing this to remind myself and anyone reading this that our social support is a fundamental aspect of getting and staying thin. Be an encourager to someone. Let me be an encourager to you. Stick together, and help each other.

Let's all be Dottie's for one another. There are too few of her in the world.