No Pudge Fudge

I have to mention No Pudge Fudge, pretty much my favorite non-fruit dessert. You can make a single brownie in a coffee cup. Three tablespoons of brownie mix. Two tablespoons of nonfat yogurt. One minute in the microwave and you get a hot, delicious brownie. 

I like plain because I add some jam for fruit flavor, but they also have raspberry and mint flavor. 

It saves me on those chocolate days. That is not an exaggeration. It saves my life.

Progress

I'm down again because I've been doing it right.

Went to Trader Joe's last weekend and stocked up. They have these mini thin crackers that taught me why they are called *crack*ers. I can't get enough, especially with their tahini-free hummus that's only 2 PPs per small serving. So I eat more and have a few extra points. Totally worth it.

I also got some cranberry sauce there that I put in some plain yogurt. Only 100 calories per 1/4 cup. If I put a tablespoon in it is only one point per delicious snack. It actually looks like food, too, not just gelatinous ooze the sloops out of the can. Yum.

They also have a European-style yogurt that is wonderful. Two PPs for 3/4 cup. It's runnier like I always enjoy overseas. And cheap. I add my favorite high-fiber TJ cereal and a banana for breakfast. Four PPs. It usually lasts me till lunch.

I left the store with a $27 bill and a ton of food. Healthy food!

Another lesson

Today I helped my boyfriend move to a new apartment. It was all day lifting, climbing stairs, etc. I decided this called for a big meal that I wouldn't normally order.

I got a burger with bacon and onion rings.

And now there is a rock in my stomach and a fire around my heart.

So yeah. I would have been better off saving the points and getting something healthy.

Then again, this reminder of the costs of unhealthy meat bombs is maybe not really so bad...

Curses, fooled again

This morning I decided I was hungry before class started. Since the food cart didn't have much for fruit, I decided on some Raisin Bran Crunch. Bran! It contains bran! Healthy choice, surely.

I later looked up the points, counting on maybe five. Nope. Eight. And I was hungry very shortly thereafter.

Lesson learned. Don't be fooled by the health halo. You think I'd know by now.

It threw off my whole day, eating wise, but because I exercise regularly with Molly and a healthy stir fry dinner, I'm only a smidge over where I should be for the day.

As my former leader Doty said, if you're over the first third or half of the day, just stay on track the rest and you'll be fine. She always knew.

Happy Thinneversary to me

I started WW four years ago, almost exactly. It was right before Halloween, and therefore right before Thanksgiving and Christmas. Madness? Yes. But I still managed to consistently lose weight throughout the entire season. This makes me think of three things:

1. If I could lose weight for the first time in my life under those kind of barriers, what could possibly stop me now--when I know what to do and only have 15 pounds to lose instead of 55? I think back to that person and smile. I was so excited every week to see the first weight loss success of my life. It was the start of many transformations of physical and emotional identity very much for the better.
2. I have been a little hard on myself for gaining some of the weight back. I try to be kind to myself, understanding the obstacles this year has provided, but it's still easy to be frustrated with going off the rails. But the reality is, I'm basically still a healthy weight four years later! What I started four years ago (FOUR YEARS AGO) I have basically maintained. I hit my goal eight months after starting, and I have done amazingly well ever since, apart from this year's blip. That's something to celebrate. 
3. Lastly, this whole anniversary reminds me that even if I slipped, I'm here correcting myself before I go back to where I started. I have the power and control to determine my own success at this. Food doesn't force its way into my mouth. I determine when food goes into my mouth--and which food goes into my mouth.

Sometimes chocolate and cookies go in my mouth. And they always will. :)

Moving Down

I had a great weigh-in today. Better than I had hoped for sure. I have stopped weighing myself at home to avoid falling prey to the number obsession. That makes weekly weigh-in that much more of a surprise--hopefully a happy surprise.

A couple of things that made this week different from being up last week:

1. I tracked all but one day. It really matters--I tried to argue I could just do it in my head, but here I am, back to losing because I stopped tracking.
2. I wasn't an angel ALL week. It's more about just being good MOST of the time. I was pretty far off on Saturday (the non-tracking day), but it was a special day with special meals and social things. I tried to make dinner light and healthy so that lunch and dessert wouldn't be such a huge thing. It worked!
3. For my drive to/from Madison I got sunflower seeds. I get sleepy sometimes when I drive, so having something to snack on and drink is crucial. Sunflower seeds take effort, so I eat fewer of them and they keep me from mindless eating. Plus they are so dang small that I can eat for a long time and not eat a ton of calories. And they are pretty healthy, too, in moderation. 
4. I keep myself stocked up on Boom Chicka Pop light popcorn. Ohhhhhh. So so good. Four PointsPlus for a nice-sized serving. I linked to the lightly sweet kind, but I imagine the straight-up salt kind is good, too. I love this stuff.

So here's hoping for another week of being good, and going down at my next meeting. I still have five points tonight...what will I treat myself to??

Coming Right Back

Yeah....so it's been two years since I posted. I'm 15 pounds heavier, but I'm not blaming myself. I mean. I am. I chose to eat poorly. But it's been a hell of a year. Mom died, my beautiful mom. I took a little too much comfort in wine and junk food. I admit that. I just don't *blame* myself.

But now, I'm just ready to go back. I want these 15 pounds gone. I want to remember the wonderful tastes of healthy food, and to remember that treats are best left--as treats. I want to be the person who started this blog all flush with optimism, confidence, and easy acceptance of my new way of eating and living.

So I'm using this blog to hold myself accountable and to remind myself of the joy I felt two years ago.

Roasted Zucchini

I would never have believed I'd ever ever ever like zucchini. It's amazing how my tastebuds have changed since I stopped giving it a steady diet of salt, sugar, and preservatives. Of course, I still eat all of those things, but nowhere near as much as before. Now I try to incorporate good foods...like zucchini.

As part of my CSA (community-supported agriculture) program, I get a bag of fresh vegetables every other week. This last week contained two zucchinis, so on Saturday morning, I decided to make something of them. I didn't feel like an elaborate recipe, so I just threw together a marinade for them. It was amazing, if I do say so myself.

I used 2 tsp olive oil (one per zucchini), a generous splash of balsalmic vinegar, some crushed garlic, a few tablespoons of crushed onion, and some Trader Joe's seasoning salt. I coated it all and threw it in my toaster oven on the broil setting for about 30 minutes. When they came out, I added a little bit of regular salt, too. Dang, it was so good. I made myself stop after eating half of the two of them, just because I wanted to have two chances to eat it!

I took the rest to work with me on Monday. Because we don't have a microwave right now, I just ate them cold, and they were amazing that way, too!

Sometimes I think we make things so complicate, or we assume we can't do anything without a recipe or professional advice. Blah! I've learned that cooking and stuff is more fun when you put a little guts into it. A little creativity and imagination. A little carefree tossing together!

Also, I've been nutritionally angelic so far this week. Here's hoping it continues. Eep!

Grandma's No-Frills Labels

One of my favorite food-related authors is Michael Pollan. He wrote The Omnivore's Dilemma and In Defense of Food. Both books have opened my eyes to the nature of the food that we eat...well, the "food" that we eat. Both books, but in particular In Defense of Food, provide a straightforward look at the increasing artificiality of the things we buy in the grocery store. The chemicals and artificial flavors and jam-packed ingredient lists.

Pollan's advice is that we eat food that our grandmas would actually recognize as food. That means whole foods like fruits and vegetables, basic yogurts, whole grains, etc. He also cautions against an overconfidence in the foods that seem real but aren't. Bread, for example, looks like food your grandma would recognize, but take a look at the ingredients list in most modern breads. There's a mile-long list of preservatives and chemicals there that would boggle the mind of dear old granny. Or yogurt. Grandma might recognize the food, but today's ingredients are artificial fruit flavorings, preservatives, and sugar (real or fake). Not simple whole yogurt.

I'm reminded of this because a friend just mentioned how a local convenience store has a section of moderately healthy snack options, which I LOVE. One of the items is a local dairy place's cottage cheese with pineapple. Like my friend, I was stoked to see this option. Real food in convenient form! Yay! But then I turned the container around and saw the ingredients list. It's full of high-fructose corn syrup and other junk. WHY?? Why can't you just add some damn pineapple to simple cottage cheese? Why mess with natural stuff that's delicious in its natural form?!? WHY?

The thing is, enjoying the occasional treat like that is perfectly reasonable and better than a candy bar by quite a fair distance. But the problem is that our everyday foods are just as loaded with hidden garbage that's unnecessary and potentially harmful. If nothing else, these products put a healthy halo around foods that aren't as healthful as they seem. And what happens, then, is that people get frustrated when they don't lose weight even by making what seems like healthy choices. It's not that they can't lose weight--it's that the "healthy" foods in our stores are often anything but. It's that we're tricked into eating things that won't help shed those pounds or keep those pounds off.

So, what's a healthy eater to do? Read the labels, look for grandma's favorites, enjoy artificial favorites in a moderate way, while keeping staples the staples of your diet. Keep convenience foods for the times when convenience is necessary and not a simple convenience. It seems hard, but it gets lots easier once you're used to it. (I'm still working on making myself used to it...)

Day 2: Still Writing

Okay, so now it's two days in a row. This is a good sign...

I weighed myself this morning...down three pounds! Just a few more to go till I can go back to maintenance. Yeah!! I can totally get there by the time school starts. Easy.

So, I said yesterday that I'd list some of the stuff I've been doing to keep myself on track lately, including snacky snacks and meal ideas and stuff. Here we go:

1. Special K Cracker Crisps. These are really good, and a serving is a pretty significant one ounce. Given how light they are, that's a lot of them. They have sea salt and sour cream and onion flavors. Both taste like potato chips but only three points instead of five or six. What's more, they don't have that greasy texture of chips. Of course, it's always best to stay away from processed foods as much as you can, but really. Honestly. Sometimes it's just too dang hard, and these are good enough to be worth it. Eat them with some hummus, for added oomph!
2. Golden kiwi. I just happened to see these in passing the other day, so I bought some. They look the same on the outside as the traditional green version, but these are less acidic tasting, less sour, and amazing. The green ones tend to give me canker sores because of the acid, but so far not on this kind. Very summery and all natural (and zero points)! Someone recently taught me to eat them by just cutting them in half and spooning the fruit out of the rind. Much easier than trying to peel them like I used to. Ugh.
3. DelMonte Fruit Chillers. A friend introduced these to me just a couple days ago, and now I'm a slut for them. One point, all natural (no high-fructose corn syrup!), and they have a kind of slushy texture instead of the hard-ice of the old FlavorPops or whatever those are called. I see on the web site that they come in pops and cups both. I've only had the pops, but I'm sure either are equally good.
4. String cheese. Get the part-skim milk version, and you can eat two of them for only three points. I get these at KwikTrip when I'm running around and need something to tide me over till the next meal. They have protein, which will keep you full a little longer. If I eat two, it cures my hunger for a few hours, actually. I've been doing this instead of sugary stuff, even though (of course) I'm always tempted by cookies and those dang rice krispy bars they sell there. 
5. PB2. I think I mentioned this a long time ago, but I'm telling you. It's the greatest. It's powdered peanut butter. They remove the fatty oils and stuff and then you reconstitute it in water to make it back into peanut butter. Frankly, I'm not a huge fan of it that way, but I mix it into stuff like plain yogurt (with a banana in it!!) or my No Pudge Fudge brownies. One tablespoon is one point (as opposed to three points in regular peanut butter). When I want it on toast, I go for all natural, no-sugar-added real stuff. But when I just want some PB flavor, I put some PB2 in something to cure the craving for few points.

That's probably enough for today. There are lots of ways to eat fewer calories without spending a ton of calories...it's just a matter of searching.

Who me? Do I write this blog? Was this my job?

I really want to get back into this blogging thing. I'm up a few extra pounds, and I need to be very conscious of what I'm eating and thinking more actively about making good, healthy decisions. So here I am, back at it. Making a solid effort at regular posting again.
So what's happened to make me gain a little weight? Lack of tracking my food intake. Too little exercise.  Too much indulging in a bottle of beer here, a glass of wine there, a decadent dessert here, a rich main dish there. Just, basically, simple lack of control and drive to stay successful. But that's behind me again.

When I first started gaining a little, a funny thing happened. Several people said things off-handedly like, "You look great. Really rested. Have you been sleeping better?" and "You look refreshed!" and so on. All of which I think are code for "You look healthier than you did at your thinnest." And, to be honest, there were a few times I looked at pictures and thought, "Oooh. Really? I look like that??" Because in my head (and in the mirror), I still had a little stomach paunch, even at my thinnest. I saw the thunder thighs and flabby butt. I didn't see the sunken eyes or shoulder bones jutting out.

So, right. I started gaining, getting complimented in vague ways, and decided that maybe a little extra weight was good for me so I decided it was okay to be a little careless for awhile. I stopped weighing myself. And now it's 12 pounds later. I chose a new five-pound range that's more realistic and maintainable, but now I'm slightly over that window. For the past two weeks, I've been cutting to the weight loss number of points in my WW program and seriously bumping up my exercise again. I haven't lost much, but I also have my period now, which means I am bloated and gross. So I have hope for a few days from now.

And guess what: I. Feel. Great!!! So much better. I love being in control of my decisions, being aware. I've re-upped my vegetables and fruits, cut back on alcohol, and I feel motivated again. I cleaned my whole dang house in one day because I had the energy to! I can see now that my summer lethargy is partly due to my lack of drive to be healthy. My body was irked at me for not fueling it and caring for it properly. Now it's happy I'm back. And I'm happy, too.

Tomorrow, I'll divulge some of my more recent healthy snack and meal discoveries. Yeah! I'm back, baby. I'm BACK!

Done by Noon

Today was not a day of self-control. I had a research celebration that I was judging for work. I ate a decent breakfast and headed in and started work. Then.

Ooooh. There's a table of fruit and cookies in the poster room! Oooooh! I'll have mostly fruit. Just one cookie. I visit with a student for awhile, then go finish up my judging. Go back to the table for a coffee refill and some more fruit. And. Oooooh. That chocolate cookie looks even better than the M&M one I had. I'll just have one more. I'll be good the rest of the day.

Then I go to the coffee shop on the way back to the office (hey--I was supporting local business! I'm a good citizen! It has nothing to do with a coffee addiction, I swear). The guy ahead of me orders some of the black bean soup. Holy crap. That looks amazing. I'll just have a cup. The cup comes with bread and chips. Do I leave those alone, given that I ate two cookies? Nope. Eat it all.

Then I go to the co-op for eggs. Oooooh. They have my low-fat scones here. Mmmmmmm.

So there you have how I used all my points before 3pm.

That's awesome. I ate a few days worth of sugar in about four hours.

So tonight for dinner it was asparagus and a spinach salad with just a teaspoon of olive oil in the homemade vinaigrette for a point. I have spare weekly points to go over, so it's no big deal, but dang. I'm not sure what was behind the binge there, but at least I put the brakes on tonight, I guess.

We all have days like that, but it's nice to know you can make decisions that minimize the damage by the end of the day instead of waiting till you gain 20 pounds to stop it, right? We're all in control of our bad decisions--I knew what I was doing as I was doing it--but at least we're also in control of our good ones.

Weight Watchers Leadership

Hey! So I got home from a conference to find an information packet for my training as a Weight Watchers employee. How awesome. Good way to start a new week, to say the least. I'm excited about this opportunity to help others succeed on the plan, and to continue to help myself stay on the plan.

The conference challenged my diet, for sure, but I did always have healthy snacks available in my room when I needed a snack that wouldn't cause too much point problems. I always take healthy granola bars, fruit (including some of those individual plastic containers with the fruit in its own juices, not sweetened), healthy nuts, healthy cereal. This time I also took some white cheddar rice cakes that were a nice salty snack for one point. I got caramel ones, too, for sweet cravings. I also had Special K multigrain crackers. That sounds like a ton, I know, but in my defense I was gone for five days!

The other fun thing about the conference is that I walked into a panel presentation about getting tenure (beyond begging and pleading with the committee) and heard a lady mention WW. She was saying that it was working for her, even on the new PointsPlus program. Apparently she's heard people don't like it, but I hadn't heard much of that myself beyond the initial transition period. Anyway, I chimed in that I was on it, too, and had good luck. We had a fun chat about the way it has changed our decision patterns, etc. The only downside is that I was talking while eating a bagel with cream cheese. *snicker* 

I also managed to make use of the hotel's fitness facility a few times while I was there, which made me feel good.

But yeah. Things are going well. I have a feeling I have some water weight that I'll be dealing with for a couple of days, but I think I'm okay beyond that in the post-conference day. I am ready to be back on track fully and completely this week. It's asparagus and strawberry season, so I have good motivation.

I'm back! I don't know where I went...

How is it possible that I haven't blogged in nearly two months? What a pity. I still think a lot about food, eating, and being healthy. So why not write about it? I don't know the answer. Maybe just laziness and stress. Probably that.

Anyway, lots has happened since February. I had a birthday, went to London, got a grant for research, went on anti-depressants (overshare), and just generally stayed afloat. The common theme for all those things (except the research grant) is this: weight-gain danger zones! I pretty much turned my birthday celebration into a month-long festival of indulgence. In London, I went full-on into candy and Guinness (mmmmmmmmmmmmm) and meat and grease. I did try to incorporate healthy stuff as well, and I walked approximately five-seven miles a day, but still. Yipes. By the end of the London trip, I was up about three-five pounds over the end of February.

But! When I got home from London, I decided it was time to get back on track, and that's exactly what I've done. I got home on the 20th, and since then I've been quite careful (with a few days' exceptions) in making good choices, cutting back on my points a little bit, and eating all my vegetables and fruits. And as of today, I'm right back down to my ideal weight! This was my first real experience with trying to lose since I hit my goal last summer, and I always wondered A) whether I would let myself slip too much before shifting into loss mode or B) whether I'd be able to lose again if I slipped.  The answer I now know is YES! I can get back on track before things get out of control, I can lose the weight, and continue to be healthy AND happy while doing it.

This also shows that I can have the occasional little period of silliness and not be doomed to a life of weight gain. I am not destined to be a slave to food. I can let my guard down a little and then put it right back up when I'm ready. And the best part is that I can feel excited about returning to healthy living. Because when I got home from London, the first thing I did the next day was go to the store to buy fresh produce. I was stoked to eat healthy again. Wowsers. That's not the old Dena.

So. There you go. It's possible to live my life to the fullest and experience the delicious wonders of food from time to time and then regain control. I am destined to a life of healthy weight because I choose to. I am in control...even when I don't exercise it every day!

The Dottie System

When I started WW in October 2009, I went with a supportive friend. We called it fat camp, and we compared notes all the time on our progress. Going to meetings was fun because of her. But then, after awhile, going to meetings became fun because of both my friend and my leader, Dottie. Dottie was always supportive, even when I gained a little. Meetings were filled with positive energy, uncompromising support and hope, and a generosity of spirit. Dottie didn't run the meetings as a sales pitch for WW products, unlike some others. She ran them as a group of friends pushing one another to be better. As a result, I went into meetings excited and left energetic and hopeful.

This is why I succeeded at losing 65 pounds. Yeah, sure, I had to make the changes in my own head and commit myself to the task. Dottie always said I was only accountable to myself, not to her. She was right. Over the long term, only I can make myself stay fit and thin. Only I can really know how well I stick to the plan. But I can safely say that her leadership is what made that change in thinking possible for me. That steady support and guidance turned me from an unhealthy eater and person into what I am today.

And then, last fall, she got sick. She had pneumonia and was gone for a few weeks. She finally came back, only to leave again because she didn't have the strength back. And then she didn't come back and didn't come back. Early in December, we learned her cancer had returned (she'd been in remission for quite awhile). I meant to send a thinking-of-you card, but I never did. I often thought of her, though, and thought of the time when she would come back.

But this morning, I found out that won't happen. Dottie passed away.

My heart broke.

Dottie wasn't a close, personal friend. I only knew her for about a year. But she saw me succeed and hit my goal, she was a weekly presence, and that presence--for the short time it lasted--meant so much to me that I can't bear the thought of her not coming back. When I hit goal, all I could think about was, "Wait till Dottie sees!" I'm not sure what I am going to do. I kept going to meetings on the hope that someday she'd be back. The new people are fine, but they aren't Dottie. I want Dottie back.

Since that's not possible, I am writing this to remind myself that I have to keep going, to keep thin, to keep healthy. I have to stay the Newly Thin Dena until I'm the Long-Time Thin Dena. I have to do this not just for me, but for Dottie. She got me this way, and her memory will keep me this way.  I am also writing this to remind myself and anyone reading this that our social support is a fundamental aspect of getting and staying thin. Be an encourager to someone. Let me be an encourager to you. Stick together, and help each other.

Let's all be Dottie's for one another. There are too few of her in the world.

Jamais plus!

It turns out I had an epiphany just now. As a result, a major overhaul is required.

Not really. At least not on the overhaul part. But I did have an epiphany!

I made pasta for dinner, using Bertolli tomato and garlic sauce, which is delicious. I added some mushrooms, onion, and green pepper to ramp up the volume of food as well as the flavor and nutritional content. Yay me!  As I stirred it all together, I thought it seemed kind of dry. I hadn't used enough sauce. My first thought, of course, was to add more sauce...and then I remembered I had a bottle of red wine open that needed to be used. So I got that out and added a splash to the sauce. It did two things.

1) It made the sauce go a little further. It got just the right consistency.

2) More importantly, it made the flavor go beserker with awesomeness. I added just a splash, but it completely revolutionized the taste. It was so much richer and more intense. I was floored how such a small addition could change so much.

As a result, I have now decided that I will never again (jamais plus!!) eat pasta sauce without a splash or red wine. I will now always have one of those little tiny 6-oz. bottles you can get, just ready and waiting for pasta sauce. It's just. That. Good. You have to have to try it!

Also, I've now officially decided that Brown Cow yogurt beats Kalona SuperOrganics. It's creamier and cheaper. It's two points instead of one, but it's worth it. I'm floored by this news. I feel like I'm betraying Kalona, my dear, sweet Iowa Amish company. But it had to be done.

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

I'm a girl, and apparently I really am made of those. My two favorite flavors are sweet and spicy.  Of course, the old rhyme meant spices like cinnamon and stuff, which is great, but I also love hot spicy, too. I've recently come across a few new additions to my daily diet that incorporate all of these.

1) Some friends recently gave me some Maggi Chili Sauce. It's kind of like ketchup, but with a sweet/spicy combo kick. My two favorites in one! It's thinner than ketchup, too, but you could totally substitute it for french fries. I have used it on stir-fry vegetables and eggs, and I love it on both. It's very low in calories and the label shows that it's all recognizable ingredients. It might be a tad hard to find, but if you have an Asian grocery or an Asian section at your regular grocery, you'll probably find it. It's worth the hunt.

2) Since having had sushi awhile back, I've been thinking very frequently and fondly of wasabi. When I was grocery shopping the other night, I saw coupons on the shelf for almonds. I needed some anyway (I love them), and the coupon was for $1 off two small cans, so I went for a regular and a wasabi & soy flavored can. They could stand to be a little more wasabi-like, but they are really good anyway. I think I'll try putting them in my next salad for a little extra kick. The thing about almonds is that, of course, you can't eat a ton of them because they are high calorie and fat, but they are nutritious for sure..and delicious. So if I can indulge in them with the added bonus of wasabi or some other flavor, I'm going to.

3) Then, for sweet, Hungry Girl has been pimping the new Cinnamon Burst Cheerios. They have more fiber than other kinds of Cheerios and are only three points for a whole cup. There was another coupon at the store the other night, so I got some of those, too. I just ate some and they really are great! Having read Omivore's Dilemma, of course, I noticed right away that the box says, "Flavored with Real Cinnamon," and got grumpy. Shouldn't that just be a duh? We have a very seriously jacked up food system. It did prompt me to look at the ingredients list, and actually it's pretty decent. I recognized all the ingredients and only a couple are suspicious (guar gum=corn; "natural flavor" and "color added"; BHT for preserving "freshness"). Overall, considering some of the crap at the store, this is pretty innocuous.

4) Brown Cow yogurt is not as low in points as Kalona SuperOrganics, but it's still pretty great. Low-ish in sugar (at least for the plain variety) and probably a lot easier to find. Just thought I'd pass that on since it passed my very stringent yogurt taste test.

There you go. More options for your next trip to the store. Now I have to get back to work!

New Blog Alert

A FB friend posted a recipe for Sweet potato quinoa cakes, and word on the street is that they are delicious. I was going to try them tonight, but I got home and got lazy. And then on top of that, I realized my eggs are about to expire, so I decided to go the easy egg sandwich route (egg, Arnold's sandwich thin, Brummel and Brown, done). Problem solved.

Anyway, these sweet potato quinoa cakes. Yeah. I'm definitely going to try. It combines two of my favorite things and squishes them together in a patty. What's not to like?

So then, I was looking around the blog more generally, and it's filled with great recipes and thoughts on health food, so I'm adding it to my favorite blogs link on the right. I plan to be a regular visitor.

Honestly, I've felt so supremely lazy of late in terms of food. I have no energy to do anything, let alone innovate on food. Ugh.  But this recipe has me super stoked. I just bought some sweet potatoes at the store last night, so it's almost like it was meant to be.

Hey, though. While I'm rambling with no real purpose or organization, I should also mention that the Trader Joe's equivalent of Fiber One is pretty dang awesome. And cheaper than real Fiber One. The pieces are a lot thinner, but the taste is the same. I had some for breakfast with my beloved unsweetened vanilla almond milk and some blueberries. Win.

My brain is off tonight, so this nonsense is all you get. Be grateful, dang it.

Blogging as Tracking

I'm in the midst of adjusting to my daily schedule for the new semester, not to mention the ongoing remodel in my basement--which is turning out great!  That means, though, that I haven't had time to blog so much. I'm hoping to get back into the habit, mostly because it keeps me actively thinking about my eating and decision-making skills. As I posted last time, I feel like I'm finding my groove with balancing good decisions with the occasional bad ones, but it's always good when something keeps you in the thought process, and this blog really does that.

Which, of course, is 100% related to the tracking element of WW. It's such a habit for me now to track my food both in my head and online. It doesn't feel like a burden. It's just something I do. I type up what I eat as I'm eating it or  before or after I eat it. When I don't know points values, like when I eat out, I'm good about guessing so I can stay moderately on track. This blog is just another venue for doing the same thing at a philosophy level. If you don't keep track of what you eat, you really should. It doesn't have to be through WW. Just keep track of calories, trends in your decisions (e.g., patterns of overindulgence in sweets).

Anyway. I wanted to post this link because I thought it was pretty great for my hopefully upcoming trips to Trader Joe's. One of my emails posted a link to a list of the healthier options at the store, and I'm going to take this with me next time I make a run.

Tomorrow starts week two of the semester. Wish me luck!

Indulging in some common sense

It was a great weekend, but not a calorie friendly one. I went with a friend to the cities for an Ikea binge for my new basement remodel, and I binged on more than furniture and accessories. For the first time in over a year, I ate my way through an entire big (big) chocolate bar. Then I had frozen yogurt, some flourless chocolate cake, some wine, some pizza, some chicken nuggets, some Swedish fish. And so on. In the span of 24 hours.

It was delicious. And intentional. How's that for a kick?  I am now to the point where I'm figuring things out. I'm learning just how far I can go, and when I need to reign it back in. I'm learning how often I can indulge within a more consistent and regular pattern of good behavior. This has been such a relief to me because I spent so much time panicking about every over-the-top thing I've done (as I've written about). I have not lost my sweet tooth, and so there's always a risk of falling off the wagon. But now that I have a real sense of my body's limits and warning bells when I go too far, I don't have a panic attack every time I go over points on some candy. I have learned how to make it a fun splurge, like a vacation in a workweek of healthy eating.

By Saturday night, I was feeling pretty gross. My stomach was unsettled and I could feel that old lethargy creeping in. And grumpiness. That's when I knew what my body was saying. "Back to work tomorrow, Dena."

And so it was. I'm back to my regular pattern of fruits and my low-carb yogurt for sweets, and vegetables and grains for my staple items. And I'm totally content. Remember that this took me more than a year! I had to really keep the crackdown and be very alert and conscious for that whole time, accounting so stringently and carefully to find this balance. It's only now that it makes sense to me, where I can trust myself with the indulgences without fear of utter failure. It's not one of the easier parts of being a generally healthier person. I thought finding an exercise routine was rough...turns out this was rougher. But as with exercise, I think I'm finally here.