Okay, so today was the one-year mark of my WW journey. I went to the 52nd week of meetings, having really only missed maybe a half-dozen or so meetings in that entire time. I like going because I often get clever ideas and product tips.
Tonight we talked about what motivates us to lose weight and keep it off. The whole conversation revolved around inner motivation, the goals we set for ourselves, and our accountability to ourselves for successes or momentary failures. That's all well and good, but I kept thinking about how actually one-sided this is. My motivation is self-directed and self-driven, to an extent, but more important to me is the motivation I get from others. Here are a few ways this happens, along with ways to incorporate them into your daily life.
1) Compliments and words of encouragement. The people in my life have been so supportive and excited for me, and that has made it so much easier to stay on track. Sometimes I get a little uncomfortable because I don't take compliments well. I always assure people that they're entirely wrong about me--I'm simply a bundle of errors who occasionally gets lucky. But, really, overall I am grateful and flattered that people take the time to compliment me and tell me how proud they are of me.
On the flip side, I've noticed at meetings a few times, people can be subtly vicious, probably unintentionally. I gained a bit a few weeks back. I wanted to downplay it because it isn't that big a deal, and I know people in that room have much bigger problems than my piddly little gain. Two ladies in front of me, with whom I regularly visit, asked how I had done. I told them and said I wasn't sure what happened but it was no big deal. Trying to be nice! Their response was to say (snidely), "Oh, sure. She doesn't want to talk about when she gains!" As if I somehow walk around and gloat on the weeks I lose! I never ever do that! Ugh. It was so disheartening and I wanted to cry. I was frustrated to have gained--why did they want to make me feel worse??
So my advice is to find people whom you can compliment and who can compliment you in return! Tell people how great they are, and listen to people when they tell you how great you are. Use those moments of happiness to propel you forward. There is infinite demand for self-confidence boosters, and even better, we each have an infinite supply of compliments in our brains. Use them generously, and you'll get them back! But then, also watch out for the infinite supply of cutting remarks we also have in our brains. Keep those inside because you risk getting those back, too.
2) Advice. This kind of goes with the above, but those of you who have asked me for advice have no idea what that's done to help me stay motivated. Knowing there are people out there who want to be healthier like me makes me want to stay healthy so I can help them do the same. Now if I slip, I'll be disappointing myself as well as a group of friends. This blog alone helps me focus, think, and be more creative. I often find myself thinking about what I can experiment with so I can post about it!
On the flip side, having people I can talk to for advice has been vital, too. My WW leader is one of the greatest people in the world. She's supportive and offers practical support and advice. She has recipe ideas as well as for different activity strategies. She's never pushy, but always available for whatever we need. I also have friends who have kept me motivated by helping me find great websites, recipes, and nutrition tips to keep me going. Some of you are those friends, so thank you! You make my new lifestyle easier!
The community support aspect of all of this cannot be overstated. I'm grateful to you for reading my blog, but I hope you can find people in your area on whom you can rely as well. Find people in your town, at work, at church who will offer advice and take advice you have. There's something about friendly, supportive, non-judgmental advice that really serves as a sort of adrenaline or something. It's just fun and exciting! Make good health ideas part of your regular conversation!
3) Socializing healthy. Along with the compliments I have been so lucky to receive, my friends and family are so great about helping me through social events. While there are always still tons of dangerous, unhealthy snacks at all social events, it's amazing how often hosts/hostesses say, "Dena, I got/made [healthy item] for you!" Popcorn, baked chips, healthy vegetables and dips, fruit, you name it. I always tell people not to go out of their way just for me because I have to learn to control myself, but it's energizing and gratifying to see people try to help me! Similarly, people are always so sweet when I bring healthy things. They are always willing to try what I bring and often rave about the results. They also humor me when I'm constantly talking about how my items are XX points.
My family has grown accustomed to asking what restaurant I would like to go to that has healthy options for me. I try to be gracious and choose places that they like because most places have something decent for me, but being asked is such a show of support and such an important helper.
However, now that I'm at my goal, I'm starting to hear, "Oh, but you're thin now! You can have that!" Uh, no I can't. Or else I won't be thin anymore. Then I get told I'm being too paranoid. Uh, no I'm not. I was overweight when I ate like that, I'll be overweight if I eat like that again. That's not paranoid, that's realistic.
So the goal for you here is to always be conscious of the healthy decisions of your friends when sharing food or having food shared with you. A positive and helpful attitude on both ends will make healthy decisions that much easier! If people teased me more about my healthy choices and potluck items, I would feel ashamed and embarrassed to bring them. But because my friends are supportive, I'm excited to. Be supportive of people who want to make healthy choices, and insist on being supported in your own!
I have more, but I have to get back to grading...and you know what? I am going to have a Skinny Cow. Because I'm worth it. :)
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