Squeeze into the Jeans

Yup. The jeans are a little tighter. Wee! It looks like January will be back to strict discipline and a few weeks of going into actual loss mode till I get back into some sort of balance. And you know what? I'm okay with that.

That feels good. To be confident enough that this week of overindulgence is a temporary splurge and that it doesn't mean doom and gloom. I mean, yes. I should have behaved better. I should have eaten less. Bladdy blah blah blah. I'm going to be okay. Those jeans won't be tight in a month.

I went to Trader Joe's and got some healthy food, including reduced fat gouda and aged white cheddar, (one point per ounce!) some low-cal dips (including red pepper dip....yum), and some fiber cereal that seems to be comparable to Fiber One (but cheaper). So I'm pretty much set and ready to go for a return to a balanced diet. I also got some black bean soup, which I hope will be filling. I had some of that at Panera awhile back, and I loved it. It's high in fiber and has a decent amount of protein, so it should hold off the hunger pangs for awhile.

It's been a great Christmas, and despite my general blahs and gripes, I'm grateful to have had this time to get a grip, enjoy some indulgence, and try to get back to a place where I don't want to withdraw from society anymore.

Well, that was fun!

I let loose the gods of Christmas war. I ate till I hurt. Last night till I almost puked in the car. The good news: it was delicious...all of it.  The gooder news: I have no desire to return to that kind of eating on a regular basis. While allowing myself the overindulgence, I did regular "check-ins" to note how I was feeling, and the answer was nearly always, "not so good, thanks." My stomach hurt, I felt lethargic. It wasn't even guilt--I went on my way guilt-free! It was just a physically rotten reaction. So why would I want to continue that?

I went to bed last night, relieved. Relieved that it was over and that I can now return to reasonable eating behaviors. It's a Christmas miracle.

While gathering healthy food supplies for time at home, I went through the HyVee Health Market. I was looking for a sugar-free jam that I always got in the Iowa City HyVee. Alas, they didn't have it where my parents live. But they did have something called PB2. It's pureed peanut powder with the fat and oil removed, leaving just powder behind. You're supposed to reconstitute it with a 2:1 of powder to water to...well, I had to try that. It's only ONE POINT per tablespoon!

Turns out, the results are a little mixed, which means, of course, that you can file this under "too good to be true." As a peanut butter spread, it's an iffy substitute. It's oddly textured, though it tastes pretty good. I'm going to try a few more times to see if I can make it work better, though.  The better news is that it works great as an addition to other foods! I added it to plain yogurt and cream of wheat, and both had a great peanut butter taste without any of that weird texture issue...or the high points.

Of course, I suppose some of the healthy benefits of peanut butter are probably in the oil, which is what's removed here, so there's that issue as well. But. Sometimes I want peanut butter without tons of calories and this is better than the kinds with all the artificial ingredients, so it's a decent alternative.

I hope you all allowed yourselves some fun over the holidays, and that you're ready for moderation and healthy eating again now that the biggest celebrations are mostly behind us. Except new years. Oops.

Here we go, a-face stuffing...

So it begins. I'm soon off for my holiday family celebrations. This will mean a little reckless eating, but even if I gain a few pounds, I know how to lose weight now! :)  I plan to be as reasonable as I can be while being a little wild, too. Having been on the verge of emotional meltdown the past few weeks means I deserve a little extra joy in my life, and if that means a few more of Mom's candy cane cookies, then so be it.  I'm trying to stay away from dwelling on my recent binges and punishing myself by denying Christmas fun.

One thing I've noticed this holiday season is that my fridge looks really different now right before traveling. Before, I ate mostly processed stuff so I just kept the fridge stocked even when I was going to be away. Now, however, I'm eating so much more fresh food that I have to deplete the stock. This week has been an adventure in inventing things to eat. Making do with pasta and my homemade vinaigrette, buying fruit in very small numbers, relying on frozen vegetables (which is not a problem, really), and not buying my precious, precious yogurt. While it's been a bit of a frustration, it's also a kind of victory. It's a visible, physical reminder of how far I've come and how much healthier I am overall.

I just don't look forward to that first grocery bill after I get back. Eek.

On the food ideas front, one thing I have done lately is to use my creamed honey from Trader Joe's as dip for Special K Multigrain crackers. I love salty-sweet combos, and these two things together work like tasty magic. It's great at night before bedtime, particularly with my peppermint tea. Yum yum yum.

I also made a stirfry the other night with a little ground turkey (I was craving meat for some reason), vegetables (sauteed in olive oil), ground ginger, cilantro, and garam masala. I added a little quinoa for extra texture, and it was the best meal I've made in months. If you don't have any garam masala, get some Right Now. It's amazing, and the meal reminded me of my month in Ireland last summer when my colleague and friend, who is from India, made a similar meal for me. Maybe that's partly why it tasted so good. Memories make everything taste better. (Another reason to enjoy myself this weekend!)

I had a few other things to post about, but I forget what they are. Oh, well. When I remember, I'll just make another post out of it.

Be Careful Little Mouth What You Eat

How's this for fun. I ate about 1/3 of a box of chocolates today. It was delicious.

But.

How does that fit in with being healthy? Not too well. I had been so good about just eating one piece every day and being satisfied with that, but for some reason today was not that day. Part of it was that I told myself this might happen today because I'm exhausted and stressed. But why let myself tell me that? Why not tell myself, "This is not that day any more than yesterday was that day"?  So then, with that quasi-permission to binge in my head, I binged. I justified every one of them. "So what? It's only one more. You knew this was going to happen. Screw it all. Just eat the whole darn box."

Oh, brain. Why must you defeat me?

I also ate most of a bag of popcorn. All right after lunch. Sure it was the lowfat version, but still. Honestly...What was I thinking?

I made up for it somewhat by going to the Y and riding the gerbil bike for awhile, and I had a light, healthy dinner. So, points wise, I'm not that much worse off for the experience, but that doesn't erase the overall problem of self-defeat. That's the big issue. The occasional binge will happen and that's okay (see last week's Christmas parties for proof of that), but the willing disregard for good decision making, and the ease of making that transition, is alarming.

This on top of the fact that I'm totally swinging back into a nasty pop habit and oof. Things are shaky.

I plan to get back on track. I know what I need to do. I just need to be on the lookout for triggers. It's been a long time since I've experienced one of these to this magnitude. I've had little warning bells of this for a few weeks, as I've mentioned on here. But I'm feeling the spiral, and Christmas isn't going to make that any easier!

You put the coconut in the cereal and eat it all up.

The other night, I had a real jonesing for some curry stir fry. I broke out the lite coconut milk to mix with my green curry paste (my favorite). The problem is that even lite is not terribly healthy, so I want to keep my portions reasonable...but the cans are so big!! I hate that because I can't use it all up before it goes bad so I end up wasting a bunch.

But I dutifully put the remaining portion in Tupperware and put it in the fridge. My intention was to look up other recipes that use it so see what I could do. You can't eat curry too many times in a row... Given that it's the end of the semester, though, and some other madness this week (long story), I just haven't taken the time to do that.

But this morning I was going to make more Cream of Wheat (seriously, it's now an obsession). It occurred to me that a little of that coconut milk might be really good in it. I can't replace water for it, but I decided I could use a little milk along with the water. The recipe calls for 1.25 cups water plus 3T of the dry cereal, so I did one cup water and 1/4 cup milk. The results: the cereal was creamier and had a mild extra sweetness. Not overwhelming, but noticeable. It also seemed thicker, but I might be imagining that. I added some pumpkin and cinnamon, too, which was great. Next time, I'll try it with my blueberries to see how that goes. Might also try it with just a little real coconut, too. Lots of possibilities!

So there's a new idea to make something different. Hope you're enjoying a happy and healthy holiday season!! 

Keeping Up with New Ideas

Hey, first off, do want to know what's delicious? Cream of Wheat with a little bit of canned pumpkin and a teaspoon of maple syrup. Happy breakfast for 3pts.  I've become obsessed with Cream of Wheat in general. It takes about five minutes to make, fills me up for a long time, it's warm, it's plain enough that you can make it taste however you want. I'm going to keep exploring.

I also bought some Marzetti dressing that I'm in love with. It's the Simply Dressed kind of Sesame Ginger. They make it in the regular (non-simple?) variety as well, but the regular one has high-fructose corn syrup and more unpronounceable ingredients. The flavor is not too overpowering like ginger can sometimes be, and there's a great combination of sweet and salty tastes.

To play on the sweetness, I used some walnuts that I accidentally bought. Well, I mean, I picked them up on purpose, but I was too careless to notice that I had picked up the "glazed" version, which of course means sugared up. Oops. I decided to keep them anyway and just use them sparingly. I decided that the dressing might complement the sweetness of the dressing, so I added a half ounce to a spinach salad. YUM. It added crunch as well as sweetness. With onions and a little bit of chopped fresh apple, I had an amazing side salad with my lunch for hardly any points.

Lastly, my favorite yogurt (Kalona Superorganics, which used to be called Cultural Revolution) makes a 5% milkfat plain yogurt. I used to avoid it because it was so fatty, but now with the consideration of the high protein and low carbs (this brand has much less sugar than most yogurts) in the PointsPlus system, the high-fat version is still low points! And freaky delicious and rich. I'm totally jazzed about that! I always avoided higher fat yogurts because they are high points, but I prefer them. This is a great combination. I plan to continue using the lower fat versions (such as vanilla 2% milkfat) because I don't want to overdo my fat intake. But it's exciting to know WW puts some value in healthy fats now and then.

Digging for Junk, Finding Gems

Here's another brief blog entry about the new WW system. I am coming to feel better and better about the new system. I was already eating fruits and vegetables, but with the new system, I'm doing so even more, which seems like a very good thing.

There's been more stress in my life, and I've really had to fight the urge to emotion eat. I've managed to keep it at bay, but boy can it be hard. The real benefit of my new lifestyle is that I don't really have anything in my fridge or cupboard that is terrible for me, so even when I'm as far gone down temptation road, I have few options that will truly derail me. And, living in Wisconsin, it's so bare-ass cold out that I'm nowhere near tempted to drive to the grocery store.

For example, the other night I needed something to calm my nerves, and I dug through my cupboards for something. I ended up with a kiwi because it was sweet. I inhaled that bad boy, felt better for having the sweet taste, and ended up stopping the cycle of crazy. The only other option I had was a three-point granola bar, so even that wouldn't have been the end of the world. That's very good motivation to be smart at the grocery store. I have to be very judicious about not allowing myself too many crazy treats because I'm currently not quite trustworthy with them.

The other fun thing is that while I was digging for an emotional feedbag I found a box of Cream of Wheat in the back of the corner cupboard. Mmmmm. Cream of Wheat. I used to eat this with milk and buttered toast. Thinking that over, I realized that was one heck of a high point breakfast. But it was mostly the toast that was so bad! Turns out Cream of Wheat is 3 pts per serving, which is low points for a very filling amount. I have eaten it now two mornings in a row with some blueberries and a teaspoon of maple syrup, both zero points. It is delicious!  I'm definitely going to return this to a place of prominence in my pantry.

Whole Grains

As I said, I've been thinking over the whole "fewer carbs" thing with the new WW points system. A friend recently connected me with a blog called The New Vegetarian. Today, I went to catch up, and I saw this entry on the importance of whole grains over refined ones. Thought I'd pass it along for others.

I think in the coming weeks, I'm going to have to come to a more "refined" (pun intended) understanding of my relationship with grains. I already eat more whole grains than refined ones, but I've definitely cut down on even that this week because of the points issue...I have to be careful not to go overboard!

Adjustments Take Time

I am making the slow adjustment to the new WW points system. I'm frustrated that so many of my favorites are now more points, disproportionate to the increase in my daily points allotment, but I am trying to remember that this is because I used to consume entirely too many carbs. It's better that I be more conscious of that because those calories aren't the best for a staple. Every time I think, "Yeah, but it worked for me..." I remember that *this* will probably work for me, too, once I get used to it. And I'll be eating a better balance of foods, most likely.

Though I'm still very numb and stingy that wine is so ridiculously many more points. Hmph.

There was an article this morning in the New York Times about this. You might need a login to read it, FYI. It basically said women across the country are reeling and mad about it. I would just caution us all that new things are always scary and frustrating, especially in the mix of the holidays. My leader said they rolled it out this time of year so that we'd all be past the angst in time for all the newbies who will arrive with their New Year's Resolutions in tow. That's logical.

Basically, the point is this: I put my trust in WW to lose 60+ pounds, and it worked. I'm willing to put my trust in this new system as well until it's proven wrong. If I gain weight, I'll figure out what to do next. I just don't see that happening.

And as a bonus bit of encouragement, as I write this, I'm surrounded by the fantastic smell of baking apples...a now *free* snack on the new system. I sliced two apples in thin slices using my mandolin slicer, spread them out on a cookie sheet, sprinkled a little cinnamon on them and now they will bake for two hours at 200 degrees. I got the idea from Snack Girl. Like her, I opted out of adding extra sugar. Apples are sweet enough as is. This would have been around two points per apple before, but now it's a crunchy, sweet snack for nothing! I just have to be careful not to eat the whole cookie sheet. Free or not, that's probably not a great idea.