Indulging in some common sense

It was a great weekend, but not a calorie friendly one. I went with a friend to the cities for an Ikea binge for my new basement remodel, and I binged on more than furniture and accessories. For the first time in over a year, I ate my way through an entire big (big) chocolate bar. Then I had frozen yogurt, some flourless chocolate cake, some wine, some pizza, some chicken nuggets, some Swedish fish. And so on. In the span of 24 hours.

It was delicious. And intentional. How's that for a kick?  I am now to the point where I'm figuring things out. I'm learning just how far I can go, and when I need to reign it back in. I'm learning how often I can indulge within a more consistent and regular pattern of good behavior. This has been such a relief to me because I spent so much time panicking about every over-the-top thing I've done (as I've written about). I have not lost my sweet tooth, and so there's always a risk of falling off the wagon. But now that I have a real sense of my body's limits and warning bells when I go too far, I don't have a panic attack every time I go over points on some candy. I have learned how to make it a fun splurge, like a vacation in a workweek of healthy eating.

By Saturday night, I was feeling pretty gross. My stomach was unsettled and I could feel that old lethargy creeping in. And grumpiness. That's when I knew what my body was saying. "Back to work tomorrow, Dena."

And so it was. I'm back to my regular pattern of fruits and my low-carb yogurt for sweets, and vegetables and grains for my staple items. And I'm totally content. Remember that this took me more than a year! I had to really keep the crackdown and be very alert and conscious for that whole time, accounting so stringently and carefully to find this balance. It's only now that it makes sense to me, where I can trust myself with the indulgences without fear of utter failure. It's not one of the easier parts of being a generally healthier person. I thought finding an exercise routine was rough...turns out this was rougher. But as with exercise, I think I'm finally here.